The Shape & Colour (prologue).

Why is it so difficult to work out? Obvious answer. Okay, fine, so why do the people who work out at the gym have to be so difficult:

1) Machine Hogs: The people who are chained to the cardio machines and never leave. They're like a wild animal at the zoo--they hiss and snap at you if you try to take the machine any earlier than the 40 hours time period they reserved it for. If they get on your nerve, accidentally turn off the machine. Reporting them to any type of authority will encourage random acts of violence involving water bottles and sweaty,dirty towels.

2) Up and Downers: Up and downers are the people who bounce with energetic appendage movements, no matter what kind of machine they're on--even the treadmill. It is caused by the inability to shut off the aerobics movements after the class ends. Watch out for flying hands, feet, and heads!

3) The Inspectors: Those are the people with x-ray vision--or so you think. Like the rabid person at the bar or the curious airport screener, the inspectors will give you the eye even though your body is drenched with sweat, emanating body odor, and giving out "Don't look at me now" vibes.

4) I "Know-It-Alls": These are the show-offs of any gym. Usually there for non-athletic reasons (considering that they're currently aiming for negative body fat), they like to show they "know" and they are very capable of any weights and athletic exercise combinations. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them--their ego (and their shtick) gets tired after a while.

I guess I'll have to treat going to the gym like going to the grocery--the emptier, the better...