Shock and Awe.

Unfortunately...I did not get the position. After receiving the polite "thank you...but" calls and letters many times this semester, I was distraught, to say the least, upon hearing my Wachovia rejection. More than anything else, this was where I wanted to work...

Looking at the U.S. election results, barring a miracle tomorrow, there will be four more years of B U S H.

I told Eric that four more years of Bush is depressing; not having a job is troubling.

You know those times where you want to believe miracles can happen (immediately)...this is one of those times for me.

More than anything else, I'm disappointed in myself. I can hear the chorus of people who used to belittle my existence and my capabilites growing louder in the background. I'm trying to hold myself together because I know that if I let myself be too discouraged, I think that will be lackluster end of job search 2004. I will be the victim of my own self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's like I have this 'almost-there' curse. I can never close the deal for some reason.
Not so long ago, I couldn't tell someone the depth of my feelings. Over the summer, I let myself be outshined by extremely talented individuals around me. This semester, I'm just underperforming in every area that I know.

I'm going to prove them wrong, I know, someday.

But until then, well, I'm going to have manage my way through a tougher, lonelier path in the short run.

I'm going to take this weekend off to reassess and to refocus my energies in various areas.